Post Dramatic Stress Disorder

Sometimes ideas for blog posts just fall into my lap, or in today’s case, my laptop. But first, a disclaimer…

Things I DON’T identify myself as:

  • A Donald Trump supporter
  • A Hillary Clinton supporter
  • A Liberal
  • A Right-Winger
  • A Feminist
  • An expert in any conceivable area whatsoever

Things I blog about:

  • Whatever I want.

So if you feel yourself getting offended by my personal style of rhetoric, may I politely refer you to one of my favorite organizations, GTFO.

Today, as I’m scrollin’ mah’facebook, I notice that a friend of mine (we shall call her “Karen”) wrote a post after an incident at her daughter’s high school where a freshman girl was allegedly pushed into the bathroom and sexually assaulted by one boy while another boy held the door shut.

This is the post my friend put on her own Facebook page:

“I’m disgusted and sad. Not only do my running friends have to run with protection, girls have to worry about what they wear, how they dress. Now my daughter has to use the buddy system to go to the bathroom at school? For the record this isn’t a <SCHOOL Name> problem…this is a problem with a system who presents no repercussions for these boys. A slap on the hand. A shortened sentence for good behavior and concern that a harsher sentence will destroy “him”. Prayers for this young woman and her family. Prayers for a system that protects our vulnerable and victims. Prayers that in 109 seconds my daughter doesn’t become another victim. Prayers that my son is as uncomfortable and disgusted with taking advantage of a woman as he was listening to a TedTalk about sexual assault”

So I look at the comments and come across this from one of her “mom friends”:

“Karen, not every crime with violence to women is a slap on the hand.”

Sorry, what? “Not every crime with violence to women is a slap on the hand”? I don’t mean to mince words here, but I think a lack of proofreading took a little sting out of the sanctimonious public shaming that was intended here. Or perhaps there was a young woman violently slapped on the hand? I’m so confused.

Then I read this gem from another one of her “mom friends”:

“”Karen,” if all  <your daughter> has to worry about is taking a friend with her to the bathroom (which lets be honest – 98% of the time teenage girls say “who wants to go to the bathroom with me???) then she’s ok! I want very much for us as parents to talk about this at home- AND NOT ON SOCIAL MEDIA!!!!!! Talk about it tonight as a family at the dinner table! Talk about what they can do to help, not add fuel to the dramatic fire!!! These are KIDS involved. KIDS!!!!!!!!!!!!! If you got this phone call, you would die! Well guess what THEIR PARENTS ARE DYING TOO!!!!! Don’t be a contributor!!!”

First of all, bravo ma’am, for being so inspired by this post that you set aside your own clearly passionate stance on avoiding adding fuel to the dramatic fire by being a public “contributor” to the conversation on social media. Had you sent this in a private message, it would not have conveyed the irony you so clearly intended (!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Also, the logic is sound. If all this 14-year-old has to worry about is taking a friend with her to the bathroom so she doesn’t get sexually assaulted at school, “she’s ok!” Her mom is totally overreacting. Like, stop worrying about sexual assault at your kids’ schools everyone, am I right?? I’m glad someone had the courage to actually sit at their computer and type it out publicly on Karen’s post and give her some much needed perspective about when and where to be concerned about her daughter getting sexually assaulted.

In fact, speaking of nothing to worry about, everyone who is afraid of their kids getting sexually assaulted needs to settle down and just listen to the words of the classic song: “Don’t Worry, Be Happy!” *Fun fact: most people don’t realize that the original song title was, “Don’t Worry, It’s Not Technically Rape If You Yell SURPRISE!”

Keep up the public scolding on other people’s posts, everyone! Especially when it’s about their kids. You totally sound like the voice of reason and we all appreciate it.


One thought on “Post Dramatic Stress Disorder

  1. I honestly can’t believe you would write this! I mean once something is on the internet it’s always on the internet… now you are a major contributor! The problem will just clearly get worse and we will never be free from the social media warriors who will point out our wrongs for all to see. Way to fan the flame, I can’t wait till every word I write is scrutinized online and an army of Moms let me know exactly how I should live my life. They will all say “Hey you shouldn’t do this” and I will just whisper back “Surprise” Good day!

    *Disclaimer because this is the internet, the above paragraph is dripping in sarcasm.

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