Self-Indulgent Birthday Post: “Jesus, it’s reckless!”

Tomorrow is my birthday. I love my birthday. I’m not overly sad about aging because my life has elements today that are so much greater than I ever imagined I deserved.

Baby Birthday

Again, I read the words I wrote last year at this time. What I hear in them is an honest confession, with a tiny gap in the slats to let in a ray of hope for improvement. Continue reading

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KC Live: Blinded By The Light (And Cool Products for Parents made by Parents.)

Actual things that happened before this segment: at 9pm on Sunday I realized I needed a drill to put together the Tot Tower. My husband was on a plane to Chicago and our drill is MIA and probably dead, but luckily my neighbors are an incredibly nice Canadian couple with grown children and the husband was able to come over and help me put it together. He really had the best joke when I said, “thanks! I’ll give you a shoutout tomorrow!” and he said in his endearing Canadian accent, “Oh, hey, don’t do that. I don’t want people saying I was over screwin’ at the neighbors house.”

Cut to Monday morning: after making breakfast for two dogs and two kids, packing lunches, dressing Avery in spirit wear, packing not one, but two halloween costumes for Savannah’s preschool party, showering, doing my full hair and makeup, going over my talking points and loading my car with all of the things for my segment, I was trying to get us out the door to school with my hands full and my plastic cup of crystal light hanging from my teeth (moms know this move) when I stepped down the garage stairs and splashed crystal light DIRECTLY IN MY EYEBALL and all over my face. I was completely blind for 45 seconds as my eye burned with the fire of a thousand suns. My brain went into damage control denial, like, “This is fine. I’ll just wear sunglasses for the segment and go to the ER afterwards. I can totally drive with one eye.” Luckily I regained vision in time to see the tributaries of black eye makeup streaming down the left side of my previously contoured face. But there was NO TIME, so I grabbed an old paper towel off the floor of my car to wipe off the black makeup before it dried, made it to school drop off, then went to the TV station where I had approximately two minutes to fix my face before I was on live TV, 8 minutes into the show.

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10 Things I Want To Tell My Teenage Goddaughter

Yesterday my friend came over so I could glam her up for an event, as is tradition. She comes over before one of her fancy galas and we pop a bottle of bubbly and gab while I toddler-in-tiara her like the tyrannical stage mother I repress deep down inside me. Her teenage daughter was in tow yesterday and I was thrilled to find out I’ve been appointed her new Godmother. I even baptized her with a little Prosecco to make it official. Last night I sat down and wrote this to her and I’m sharing it here with permission.

Ten Things To Tell My Teenage GodDaughter

 

Dear Brooklyn,

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*Be Yourself* (Mommy and Me Photos by KM Photography) Part I.

My girls and I were lucky enough to do a Mommy and Me photo shoot with Krissy Vance of KM Photography and I am head over heels for the gems she captured. As all parents know, the day you set aside for professional pictures is inevitably the day that it rains and your four year old decides she is not.having.it. I’ve been saving these gorgeous lace dresses from Strasburg Children for just this occasion. The details are breathtaking. The clothing is all hand-sewn with special attention to embroidery, smocking and strong French Seams. I’ve already washed, pressed and set these aside for Easter, but I intend to store them in the girls’ keepsake boxes to be passed down someday. There are so many precious heirloom quality outfits for both boys and girls; I especially love all the flower girl dresses.

The only problem, besides the rain, is that Savannah decided that rather than posing for pictures in her beautiful lace dress, she wanted to be a unicorn. So I did what every good parent does and bribed her. More on that later.

Sunny skies are always nice, but I will forever cherish these photos of my sweet girls dancing in our backyard in the rain.

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And now the bribery part. After posing sufficiently for pictures in her southern gown, I let her be a unicorn. I don’t know how she did it, but photographer Krissy Vance somehow made this ridiculous, rainy circus into my favorite picture of all time:

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There was another fun component to the Mommy and Me session which I will be sharing in a separate post. Let’s just say it wasn’t a conventional shoot…

Thank you so much to KM Photography and Strasburg Children. Make sure you follow them on Instagram @kmphotoskc and @strasburg_children

If you don’t already, follow me @MrsKansasMommy

I’ll leave you with some Savvy Carter wisdom:

Savvy Unicorn

KC Live: Breastfeeding Awareness and How To Carry A Mannequin Across A Busy Trafficway

If you read my last post, you know breastfeeding is a topic that brings up a lot of uncomfortable memories for me. If you’re a new mom and struggling with breastfeeding, I truly hope something here helps you through this time; just know it gets better. You’re not going to have to do this forever. Continue reading

Breastfeeding: A Confession.

One of most useful things anyone ever said to me about parenting came from my husband’s mother. I was a new mom feeling guilty about having to supplement breast milk with formula and she said, “Honey, the ‘right way’ to do things is however you want to do them.”

I’m going on KC Live today to talk about helpful accessories for breastfeeding mothers, and while I don’t normally post about what I’ll be talking about before a segment, I’m going to share something with you here: breastfeeding is wonderful…for women who are not me. It was one of my worst experiences in motherhood. I felt like an engorged, leaky cow tethered to a fence post just waiting for some screaming, unappreciative blob-human to come along and give my life purpose.

When Savvy was an infant our little family went to Indianapolis for my sorority sister’s baby shower. The baby shower turned into a girls’ night out ending with me leaning over a hotel bathroom sink, squeezing tequila out of my boobs in hopes that I wouldn’t get my baby drunk when she inevitably woke up at 6am. If you’ve never tried to wring your own breast out like a wet washcloth, let me be the first to tell you, it’s as painful as it sounds. And don’t even get me started on the time I got a clogged milk duct (I shuddered even as I typed it.)

For people who love the experience of breastfeeding or didn’t love it at first, but worked like hell at it for the sake of their child; I respect and commend you. Breastfeeding is a beautiful bonding experience to some people, just not to me. To me, it was awkward, painful and gross. There I said it. So freaking gross. There was no technique, support group, or product that could have made me love nursing the way some mothers do, but there are things that can make it more bearable. And that’s what I’ll be talking about today on KCL.

So if you’re a new mom reading this, I want you to know, the “right way” to do things is however you want. You don’t owe anyone an apology or explanation. To paraphrase my mother-in-law, you do you, Boo Boo.

Savvy 1 month

Erin-Go-Bar (Baby’s first Bar Method class)

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When your friend stops by and you guys accidentally look like a lesbian couple at their bohemian wedding.

 

Back story:

I went to my friend Erin’s birthday party and one of her other friends brought a handmade lavender bath bomb from @Spire_Sweet, and Erin was like, “Emily you have to try this sometime,” so I grabbed it and was like, “oh I totally will, thanks!” and then Erin’s friend had to awkwardly be like, oh, actually that was my birthday gift to Erin. And what I should have done was be like, “how embarrassing of me to assume it was for me to try, of course I can’t keep this” but what I actually did was throw it in my purse and yell BYE-YEE! Continue reading

Those Aren’t Your People

I know I said I’d post my TV segment details yesterday, but I have something else on my mind so that’s going to wait.

I recently spent a few days with our friends’ preteen daughters and they had lots of questions, everything from what I was like when I was their age to what I’d change about my appearance. They were so pure and yet so cautious of being judged. It got me thinking back. I once read something to the effect of, if you don’t have a weird friend, you are the weird friend. Continue reading