So you know when you have that feeling like there’s something looming in the back of your brain you keep meaning to follow up on but you don’t? And it turns out to be that you’re supposed to be on live television in less than 24 hours? That was my Tuesday afternoon.
For one thing, I had no segment prepared. For another thing, not to get into details, but I’d spent the past 48 hours depression-eating chinese food and chocolate ice cream and I wasn’t in the ol’ razzle-dazzle frame of mind. To say I was disheveled and bloated is a given, but it was so bad that after I put on my Spanx in the morning, my 4 year old poked my stomach and said “Why do you have a baby in your tummy?” And I sweetly told her it was just an IUD in a bunch of Hyvee Chinese and Haagen-Dazs, then I stuffed her Elsa lunchbox full of loose kale and black jelly beans and sent her off to Preschool.
KC moms it’s time for another #MKMReal hashtag game and this time I’m giving away two tickets to the Pump and Dump Comedy show at the Improv KC on Wednesday, April 5! I will be there too 🙂
What is it?
THE PUMP AND DUMP SHOW AMERICA’S ORIGINAL MOMS’ NIGHT OUT VALIDATING “BAD MOMS” EVERYWHERE BY GATHERING EVERY KIND OF MOM IN ONE ROOM FOR ONE HELLUVA NIGHT!
The Pump and Dump Show is a one-of-a-kind, interactive, live production designed as the ultimate respite for parents everywhere. Original music includes songs like “Parental Lovin’,” “If Daddies Made Milk,” and “Eat Your F—ing Food.” Audience members (affectionately referred to as BREEDERS) play games like “Cervix Says” and “The Most F-ed Up Thing My Kid Has Done” to win bottles of wine and other fantastic prizes from local and national sponsors. The Pump and Dump Show’s 2017 Band of Mothers Tour continues its mission to spread mom karma, give high fives and uplift and encourage moms coast to coast.
To enter to win two tickets just post a picture of your real mom life and use the hashtag #MKMReal and tag @ThePumpAndDump
Example: Me waiting for my child to get out of the tub. #mkmreal @ThePumpAndDump
See you there!
The Pump and Dump Theme song
Lies we tell ourselves
Eat Your F-ing Food
Thank you so much to our sponsor Anna Needham for this fun idea! Make sure you check out annaneedham.myrandf.com to get your glow on. Rodan + Fields is the ISH and Anna is a knowledgeable, trustworthy, sweet Momma from Texas! Fun fact, I know Anna through her husband Ben who I grew up with in Stillwater. One time sophomore year we had a snow day, so like any reasonable people a few of our friends tied a sled to the back of a jeep and took turns riding on the snowy back roads, where I witnessed Ben hit a dead cat at such speed that the sled actually caught air. Because Oklahoma. That story had nothing to do with this contest, but when you see your friend hit a dead cat on a child’s sled you never skip the opportunity to retell it.
Soooo…on to the winner!
Congratulations to @CiminoFamily on winning your $75 credit to Rodan + Fields. You cracked us up with your multiple entries but this one definitely takes the cake. Also OUCH!
Other awesome entries:
I seriously love you people.
My absolute favorite thing that has come from this blog is the feedback I get from all of you fabulous ladies out there who tell me you relate to what I share. This brings me to Game Time! You know I love a hashtag game.
Here are my “Sometimes…” confessions as of late. Share your “Sometimes…” moments with me and I’ll do a drawing for someone to win a pair of Stella and Dot Studs of your choice! Just don’t forget to use the hashtag #MKMReal and tweet/tag me @MrsKansasMommy on Twitter or Instagram.
- Sometimes in order to get Avery to be extra sweet and attentive to her little sister I have to concede to pretend Savvy is really our puppy named Golden. At first I felt bad about treating my 1 year old as a dog, but then I saw how much Savvy likes having her sister rub her belly so I just go along with it.
- Sometimes if I don’t feel like sharing, I tell my kids I put “spicy powder” on whatever it is I’m eating or drinking. Everyone knows spicy powder is invisible.
- Sometimes I use our dog, Audrey, as a babysitter by giving Avery a bunch of cheerios and telling her she can go in the laundry room and try to train Audrey or dress her up. Audrey is highly annoyed at me when I do this, but at least I get a few minutes of free childcare.
- Sometimes Savvy is so quiet in her high chair that I will get into doing the dishes or reading an article and be completely surprised when I realize she’s still there like 20 minutes later, just waiting.
- Sometimes I let my kids eat food that has fallen on the floor.
Mine are all mommy-related today but I’d love to hear any that you want to get off your chest. Do share!