Actual Things: A Mother’s Letters

Dear God,

I’m sorry that I called Savannah an “Asshole” behind her back today. I promise that I will try to be more patient and positive from now on.
Love, Emily
Savvy Tantrum
Dear Savannah,

You amaze me. First of all, your time management skills are incredible. We’re together 24 hours a day (literally, since you refuse to sleep in your own bed) and yet you still find time (when I’m not looking) to express yourself creatively. I never would have thought to smear that red ink from your Valentine’s stamp all over the freshly painted foyer, but now that I see the bloody contrast against the “Poetic Light” by Behr, I have to say, it really does make a statement. It’s a much more daring medium than that paper I gave you to occupy you while I mopped up the rainbow of spilled pixie sticks and money from my wallet you dumped all over the floor…which was so magical, by the way; I felt like I was cleaning up after a fairy who went on an adorable lil’ bender. Not since you removed your diaper and sh*t in the kitchen have I had such variety in my floor-cleaning routine.  (Remind me to teach you that saying about where you eat, though.) Your jokes are really coming along as well. Like a week ago, when I made you get off the iPad so you did that slapstick bit where you hit me with it and yelled, “YOU NOT MY MOMMY!” Hilarious! You’re like a mini Lucille Ball in a diaper…except when you take it off in the kitchen and…well, I guess sometimes we all need to let things go.
Love, Mommy

2 thoughts on “Actual Things: A Mother’s Letters

  1. Pingback: Actual Things: A Mother’s Letters | Mrs. Kansas Mommy

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