Actual Things: Kid Questions

Actual questions that I’ve been asked over the past couple of weeks by my 2 and 4 year olds:

(In the kitchen this morning) Savvy: “Is it poop……or avocado?” Me: “Why would I be spooning green poop into your smoothie?” *thoughtful silence* Savvy: “Is it poop?”

Avery: “Do girls go to Heaven and boys go to Jail?”

Avery: “Are rugs made out of cows?” Me: “Sometimes. Like the one we saw at the Briscoe Museum.” Avery: “Is carpet made out of dead puppies?” Me: *horrified look* “No…Where did you…” Avery (cutting me off as if I should feel completely reassured): “That’s what I thought.”

Avery: “Mommy, can wishes come true?” Me: “Yes, they can!” Avery (excited): “So if I wish really hard I can have a baby sister named Dora?!” Me: “Well that wish isn’t coming true, but maybe someday you could have a daughter named Dora.” Avery: ” Or Lala Diamond Chandelier?”

Me, in the car, talking about JaRule to Kevin: “I think he went to prison.” Avery (from the backseat): “What is prison?” Kevin (nonchalant): “It’s a place where people who do bad things are locked up in cages so they can’t see their families anymore.” Me: “KEVIN!”

(Walking into the gym) Avery: “Do big horses have big penises?”

Avery: “When I get bigger can I milk a cow?” Me: “Yes! I’ve always wanted to do that too!” Avery: “Okay. But Mommy, you know you have to milk a WOMAN cow, right? Not a boy cow, I mean bull. You know why?” Me: “Yes, but where are you getting all of this farming knowledge?” Avery: *shrug*

 

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