Mysteries

The other night I was doing some legal research and I read that the Italian Supreme Court overturned the case against Amanda Knox (source: People Magazine). I thought to myself, MAN I hope that someday we know the full story of what happened there. Like maybe when you die, you get to watch how things really went down with Robert Durst and OJ Simpson and all the other innocents.

I think maybe when you die and you’re ready for the answers to life’s mysteries, it goes one of two ways.  If it’s like the end of the movie The Sixth Sense where history flashes before you and it just blows your dang mind how little you actually understood as you were experiencing it but now it all makes sense, you are in Heaven. And if you’re in Hell, they just make you watch the final season of Lost.

I hope there’s still a place for sarcasm in Heaven. I think God must be funny because when people get to Heaven and all the mysteries of the world are revealed, people are like, “Okay, but I still don’t understand why you gave people like the Kardashians so much money and power…” And God is like, “Ugh. This again. Because I was doing it IRONICALLY. Geez.” And Jesus pops his head in and is like, “Did you need me Dad?” And God is like, “Huh? Oh, sorry. No.”

I wonder what the rule is about sending messages to your loved ones on Earth. Like maybe it’s frowned upon, but people still do it from time to time, like flash photography at a recital or taking all the extra little things from hotel rooms. (Surely hotels account for people doing this, right? How else would I have amassed such a large Bible collection?)

Or maybe we are constantly getting signs from above but we don’t notice because we’ve forgotten so many inside jokes. Like when you look at an old yearbook and your best friend from 8^th grade is like, “Don’t eat too many rolls. HAHAHAHAHA!” And you’re like, “Wha?” And your friend in heaven who sent you a sign you totally missed is up there like, “C’mon, man. The ROLLS!” And then if you do happen to recognize the sign, they’re like, “YESSS!” and they do a victory punch in the clouds and point down at you and yell, “I got you! I got you so good!”

Anyway, how about that Amanda Knox verdict?

Related thoughts: My Dream Funeral