5 Things You Should NEVER Say To An Expectant Mother

Avery’s 2nd birthday got me thinking about how much I actually enjoyed the hospital experience when she was born and how much I am looking forward to the next one in just 6 short weeks!

 
 

Our first family picture

I always make a point to tell my friends who are expecting how EASY my labor was, because it’s so uncommon to hear positive labor stories. There’s something about getting a group of women together talking about childbirth that seems to bring out a bunch of Debbie Downers. I get that it is a momentous rite of passage and it can be a bonding experience to share details, but before you know it, you are just an innocent mommy-to-be all excited to talk about being pregnant and you are bombarded with labor horror stories.

 

5 things you should never say

Here are the top 5 things I wish people wouldn’t have told me when I was pregnant with Avery:

 

5. “The doctor told my neighbor’s cousin she was having a girl and it came out a boy!” Really. We just painted the room pink and have a closet full of monogrammed nonreturnable clothes and blankets that have been washed in special baby laundry detergent. I have been drafting her recommendation letter to Tri Delta and the wording for her wedding invitation. Here’s hoping your neighbor’s cousin has a sense of humor and was going for a neutral theme anyway. 

 

4.  “My epidural didn’t work.” Well, mine did! Didn’t feel a thing. Watched Golden Girls on DVD the whole day, chatted with the doctor between pushes, and didn’t break a sweat. So this turned out to be a totally unnecessary and unhelpful piece of information for me to worry about.

 

3. “I was in labor for 36 hours.” This is actually what my mom tells me every year on my birthday so I guess she has a right to say it. Apparently I was a horribly complicated C-section/NICU delivery. (Turns out birth and guilt are the gifts that keep on giving.) It doesn’t really matter how long you’re in labor, it matters how you are feeling during that time. 

 

2. Anything relating to a miscarriage or a baby that was born with health issues that is not your own experience. In my opinion, if it happened to you, it’s your reality to share or not. But I went to dinner with some girlfriends one night who were talking about a woman who lost her baby at the very end of her pregnancy. I smiled through dinner and then went home and cried and cried to my husband. Pregnancy makes you feel vulnerable and paranoid enough without hearing about all the bad things that have happened to someone else you don’t even know.

 

And the number one thing I wish I never heard…

1. “They accidentally left a sponge in me when they stitched me up.” SERIOUSLY? That can happen? Don’t you put that evil on me, Ricky Bobby!

 
 

So, who knows? Maybe I will have a terrible labor this time around, but I’m not going to stress about what might happen. I’m looking forward to experiencing all the sweet first moments with the new baby and sharing all the excitement and love she will bring into our lives.

 
 

My brother holding newborn Avery for the first time

So glad I got pictures of her in this cute onesie in the hospital because she outgrew it right away

That moment when you fall in love with your husband all over again

 
 

Only 6 weeks until Round 2!

Avery giving the baby belly a smooch

 
 
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